Went to the beach with Ted and Roger and had one choice time. I’m so dark that I look like a real African Ubangee again this time.
Saturday June 14, 1952
Bill came down and took me to The Stomp tonight. He is one nice guy that is for sure, he doesn’t get fresh with me anymore or anything. It was all my fault, I mean about last Saturday night. Jeez-o, I sure do feel lots better since I went to Confession, just all that load of sins off of my soul. Bill is still crazy about me, but at times he bores me, but then at times I like him very much.
Sunday June 15, 1952
Bill stayed with me all day and had supper with us at home. Tonight we went up and saw Lorea’s new apartment and she’s hinting for me to come in and live with her, but she doesn’t know I’m not working and I also didn’t tell her.
I forgot and kept talking about a lot of guys with Lorea tonight in front of Bill, and he says “you must’ve been in a dream”. He asked me about saying yes to going steady with him, but I didn’t say anything because I don’t think I want to go steady. Sure as I’m sitting here right now, I know I’d go out with some guy on the week nights and two-time him. Anyway I want to go out with lots of different guys, and on the weekends too.
Mary Alice is going steady with Joe now. I’m happy for her, she’s only madly in love with him.
Monday June 16, 1952
Mary Alice took off for Tucson tonight for her vacation.
Wednesday June 18, 1952
Got a letter from Bill today. I sure hate like heck to write letters, I think I’ll just forget to answer his.
Thursday June 19, 1952
Ted came down tonight as usual.
Saturday June 21, 1952
Went out with Bill and Glenn tonight. We went to the El Monte Drive-In and then later on I wanted to go to The Stomp, but they didn’t feel like going in. So I says “Well how am I going to get in, on my looks?” So they dished out the dough. I went in on my own, stayed until they closed and had one flawless time, but they waited for me though and they took me home.
Boy I had one big fight with lover Bill tonight. One of the main reasons was because I didn’t write back to him and he was real, real mad, then he also told me he didn’t love me. I guess he didn’t mean to hurt me, but I was sure stunned to put it mildly. He did hurt me by telling me that, I don’t know why. But I guess he still likes me anyway. I think I’ll wipe him out though because I want somebody that loves me not just likes me.
Sunday June 22, 1952
Well, I was still mad at Bill today, but I got over it. Met his folks and part of his family today. He is a pretty fine guy…when he wants to be. He says he likes me very much and he calls me his queen.
Monday June 23, 1952
Wrote to Bill today. Our neighbors Joe and Kay are over the house, and Joe is under the influence.
Tuesday June 24, 1952
Ted came over. Went into town tonight and two guys in a lush Ford convertible tried to pick me up, but they didn’t appeal to my eye.
Wednesday June 25, 1952
Bill came over today and I had supper with part of his family, his mother has ten children you know. We had another argument tonight, I don’t remember what it was about, we have so many arguments. True love never runs smooth, or so the saying goes. Sometimes I like Bill very, very much and then other times I just don’t know, I’m all confused. Right now I don’t like him, but he told me he loved me tonight though.
Vilma has only known Bill for a couple of very short weeks now. If you read the prior blog post here, you’ll remember that the relationship started out with an intense physical attraction and got a little too hot and heavy after only their second date. Vilma knew she had to dial it back and stop the momentum of those runaway passions…or else.
We know that “lover” Bill has fallen for Vilma. He does make that long drive up to El Monte from his San Diego naval base just to see his new gal pal Vilma on the weekends, so at the very least he does like her. Is this young handsome devil the ONE, or is he just trying to sow his wild oats? Well, Vilma had to discern if this was really “true love” or not. She needed time to discover if there was any real depth of character to this man, aside from the physical attraction, and a good start was meeting his family. She had to ask herself some good questions too: Is he husband worthy? Is he really just giving her a ‘line’ that he loves her just to make a home run? Has he played this ball game before?
Luckily this tough, street-smart ruffian girl from New York learned the fine art of being a good B.S. detector early on. However, with Bill and his flowery, oh so gooey love talk, it’ll be that much harder to figure him out. The jury is still out for now, and another good confession is in order.
It all comes down to mercy
Remember, Vilma lived by a certain moral code deeply imbedded in her bones, but always had the perpetual angel and devil riding gallantly on each of her shoulders. One asking her to raise her eyes to the realm of heaven, the other fiercely shoving her with his pitchfork into the trappings of this world.
She sure did like to have her fun, flit around, and play all those female reindeer games, but funny how she seemed to have a serious knack for escaping those traps before it got too far out of hand (winding up like her friend Betty Jo that is). At the end of the day though, she acknowledged she was sinning and fell back on using the weapons in her arsenal for this spiritual battle: the Sacrament of Penance.
The mystic Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcina, Italy is quoted as saying: “Confession is the soul’s bath. Even a clean room gathers dust, return after a week and you will see that it needs dusting again”.
Before going to confession though, Vilma always followed the recommendations of the church to first “examine her conscience”, or in other words, simply to root out the stuff in her soul causing spiritual harm. Afterwards, she describes the feeling:
“Jeez-o, I sure do feel lots better since I went to Confession, just all that load of sins off of my soul”.
It’s such a simple statement, but in it there is an air of something tangible that was felt, her whole being was different, lighter, free to see more clearly than when she first went in. As she stepped out of the small wood-paneled room, the final words of the priest would have echoed in her mind: “Go in peace, your sins are forgiven.”
In that time and space, God’s relentless mercy was experienced. She thought so much of it that she recorded it in her diary. Perhaps it also served as a reminder for the next time she needed a good soul cleansing.