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Vilma and The Passion Flower

5/31/2015

No means "No"

Friday January 18, 1952
Me & Betty Jo went and saw some good movies tonight and then Leon took me home. Leon Rogers that is, he just got back from serving in Japan. He’s one of those water lilies, and listen to this, he hasn’t taken out a girl in 3 months, and oh man I was scared. Scared was I ever! Just think of for instance me not kissing a boy for a whole 3 months, well I know I would go all overboard at the first guy to kiss me! I have gone out with Leon before and I have been out with a lot of passionate boys, but believe me he is one passion flower. So he kisses me a bunch of times and I say “Leon I have to go in”, but then he grabs me and won’t let me go. So I’m trying like mad not to make a scene and to keep it light. He got me all nervous and jittery, because the last time he took me out, he scared the hell out of me and got me down and wouldn’t let me up. So I fights him off and I say an abrupt “Goodnight” and he says “You’re not going away mad are you”? I says “Leon, get wise to yourself”!

Sat. January 19, 1952
Went to the Stomp tonight with Loreen & Bonnie and we had a real crazy time. We saw Tennessee Ernie Ford there and the place was packed. We all came home together in one car, I went home with Bob somebody or other. I got pawed at so damn much tonight that I’m real disgusted. But what got me most was this real self-assured guy had the nerve to come over and ask me to dance at the very last dance of the evening when I was still with Bob. I felt bighearted at the moment, so I danced with him. He was real smooth & fine looking and he knew it, he was so damn sure of himself it aggravated me. He asked me to go home with him and I told him sorry, I’m going home with Bob. I says listen man: “I don’t give no shit to nobody and I don’t play no guy for dirt, so don’t go away mad, just go away”! And I just left him standing there. So I went home with Bob, he is real nice and he kisses real good too. He is leaving tomorrow night back to the base, he’s another one of those water lilies but he was at least respectful. I got in at quarter after 2am.

"The Passion Flower"
I have to clarify that in the 1950’s “going home with a guy” does not hold the same meaning as it does today! It literally meant that the boy just saw you to your home. You all know the classic scene in the movies right? Where the boy walks the girl up to her porch after their date? It was customary for a man to do this back then. Sure he may try to plant that awkward kiss on the pretty girl or…..maybe they’re ‘parked’ in the front of her house in a 1952 Chevy Bel Air making out in the heat of passion.

I also love this 1950’s expression “passion flower or water lily” when describing someone filled with strong emotions and lusting desires. Why a water lily? In some cultures the Lily symbolizes the heart, love and passion. But there is a marked difference between true love and lust. Lust is always selfish and makes the other person into an object of desire, while love is always self-giving and self-sacrificing. I could only guess why Vilma took a second date with that Leon fella after her first experience, hopefully she won’t be making that mistake again.

In the words of Blessed Archbishop Fulton Sheen: “There is a world of difference in which a man loves a woman and a woman loves a man — a world of difference. A man can love a part of a woman; a woman can love only the whole man”. Now, that is why, my dear girls, that the boys will talk about your legs. They can love a part of you. They can love a dimple, but then they have to marry a woman.

Do you [girls] ever talk about boys' legs? Never. You never mention boys' legs. Why? Simply because you are not built that way and a boy is different. That is the reason why you've got to watch the young men. Don't think they love you simply because they love a part of you.

As we ponder this, let’s have a listen to some classic sounds of Tennessee Ernie Ford:

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Vilma and The "Ruffian" Gang

5/24/2015

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Sun. January 13, 1952
Spent all day with Betty Jo and half the night. We tried to bake a cake & we had great plans how it was going to turn out, one prize package. First of all it started to crack and then it fell a little, and then little by little it collided. So Betty Jo got real mad & threw a fit, then we squashed it all up. We were so mad!

Mon. January 14, 1952
Stayed in L.A. tonight after work. Didn’t do much shopping, but fooled around. Picked up a couple of guys and one of them by the name of Bill is supposed to come over tomorrow night at 7:00 to take me roller skating. Oh what a dreamer! He is coming all the way from L.A. to here to take me out (he thinks), but I am going to stand him up. I just want to stand him up that’s all. Why shouldn’t I? I have nothing against him, he likes me and he doesn’t even have a car. But boys have stood me up in the past, so that little boy is going to be one stood up guy tomorrow night.

Tues. January 15, 1952
Rained like mad today & tonight. Bill didn’t come over tonight. I really didn’t expect him in this storm, but I care so much you know (sarcasm). I haven’t seen Betty Jo in two nights. Man but we are really having one storm though. I hope it lets up quick.

Wed. January 16, 1952
I picked up Scratch tonight, this guy that’s the manager of the El Monte Bowling Alley. Brother, he is really stuck on himself to be putting it mildly. He says he is the mad love maker and he is very particular who he makes love to. He goes out with a different girl every night and to hear him tell it, he’s God’s gift to women. I tells him, “Brother why don’t you get wise to yourself? (He had asked me out). You’re living in a pipe dream! How funny can one get? Do you know any funny stories”? And I laughed in his face. He said I was scared of loving him and called me a “chicken heart” and asked where was my sense of adventure? I simply said “Hit the Road Bum,” and he left.

Thurs. January 17, 1952
Man what a storm. This is really what you call stormy weather, in more ways than one. The weather goes on & I am in a big rut. I suppose I will stay home this Saturday night too since the weather is so miserable, no telling. But on the radio it says that it is the worst storm in a hundred years. The whole place is flooded and everything, man, is really wet. There is no letup either on the rain.

Vilma the Young Ruffian

Growing up in New York
Vilma is showing herself to be quite a tough cookie, she certainly has a unique way of saying things! Her tough exterior was formed in her childhood years growing up in the hard-edged streets of New York. This is where she learned how to defend herself and became quite gutsy, with the habit of bluntly speaking her mind.

In 1945, when Vilma was 11 years old, her family drove cross country from New York to California to settle in amongst the orange groves and dairy farms of El Monte. Her parent’s strong faith and guidance gave her a keen inner sense between right and wrong…. and she wasn’t afraid to call out the wrong when she saw fit. Obviously she detested men who were arrogant, who bragged about their conquests or who thought they were God’s gift to women. She may have toyed with men like these, but would never lower herself to get so involved with them.

The “Ruffian Gang”
As an adolescent, Vilma went through an awkward stage just as so many young girls do. She entered into her freshman year at El Monte High School when she was 13 years old and thought of herself as an ugly duckling. Tall for her age, lanky and painfully shy in a new school, she quickly began experimenting with make-up. One popular trend of the time was to wear heavy, dark lipstick OVER the natural lip line to help make her lips appear bigger. To complete the look, she would pencil in her eyebrows too. Judging by the amount of attention from the boys she received, she began to feel like she was actually kind of pretty now, which helped her confidence skyrocket.

There were some other girls in High School who wore the same make-up trend, but they were the type of girls from the wrong side of the tracks—they were called the “rough” girls who became known as the “Ruffian Gang”. They were straight talking brash characters with mean looks on their faces to appear tough. Some boys began calling Vilma a “Ruffian” too, since she had the same look. Oh she got angry at them alright, which would always result in verbal wars back and forth. Vilma defended herself against what we may even call bullies back then, but being from New York she was certainly no wimp! She stood up for herself and was not easily led to tears or emotional drama because of it. Secretly though, she liked all the extra male attention from being associated with the Ruffian girls.

To Vilma’s devastation, her new make-up experiment didn’t last very long. Her mother saw to that. By the time she had turned 17, where we pick up her diaries, there was no stopping her natural beauty and confidence. She still retained the typical ‘New York” attitude for years to come, which also helped her play the tough girl part when needed! You can almost “hear” it when you read the diary entries.

A good lesson that holds true: Never be afraid to stand up for good morals and never lower your expectations for a man. Otherwise you can simply tell him to “Hit the Road Bum”! Raise your expectations and you will find someone who is a better man… because he has met you.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come” Proverbs 31:25

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Vilma and the Dirty Dentist

5/17/2015

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Thurs. January 10, 1952
Betty Jo & Mary Alice came over tonight and we smoked cigarettes & talked and had a gay time. Betty Jo is my best friend but I just don’t like Mary Alice. I’m going to the show with her tomorrow night and we will probably have to walk home. I don’t want to go with her but I guess I will. When she left, she says to me “I hope you appreciate my long visit”. She’s nothing but an old kissy. She’s kissing up to me so she thinks when I get my car I’m going to take her everywhere, and she’s really making big plans where we will go & what we’re going to do when I get it. But I’m just thinking in my head, sister you are in for a rude awakening because I’m not going to chauffeur you around nowhere. Man is she living in a pipe dream. Oh man.

Fri. January 11, 1952
Well, I was right, we had to walk home but we saw some great movies tonight, me and Mary Alice. “The Lady Pays Off” is as good as they come. I laughed my fool head off. Jeez-o it was good. Betty Jo came over after I had already left, so I called her up and boy was she angry. She was real mad because I didn’t ask her to go and I went off with Mary Alice. But I told her I couldn’t help it, she asked me to go, I didn’t ask her. So I guess everything is all right.
Sat. January 12, 1952
It was raining cats and dogs tonight, so I am staying home tonight & watching the best movies on television. I went to the dentist today & he said I was looking good and losing weight. I am I guess, I used to weigh 155. I am now 146. He said I don’t need any falsies that’s for sure.

The Dirty Dentist
I suppose this could very well be a scene straight out of the Mad Men TV series: a pregnant Betty Jo smoking cigarettes and a creepy Dentist eyeing your body up and down as you as you get your teeth worked on. Not only that, this Dirty Dentist had the nerve to tell Vilma she doesn't need any falsies! Back then there was no sexual harassment filter that’s for sure. We’ll see just how far this Dirty Dentist goes on Vilma’s next trip to the office.

Inner Beauty
In the 1950’s we had not advanced yet to the commonality of breast implant surgeries, and there were no Victoria’s Secret magical push up bra’s either. Most ladies used to accept their bodies just the way God intended, or they may have used some good old fashioned padding (or falsies) to enhance their figure on those special nights out on the town.

Today in this mad, mad world Dr. Frankenstein is real: he just now does plastic surgery in Beverly Hills. He merrily cuts up body parts, replaces things here and there and injects potions to plump up this or that. Unfortunately women and men are too often seeking the knife to fix their outer appearance in order to boost their inner insecurities and confidence levels.

If you don’t like yourself, something is missing in your life. It’s easy to get caught in the trap of cultural trends that are obsessed with outer beauty. Many women have made themselves into distortions of the female body, and depending on the size of the implants, sex objects. What’s missing? People fail to see the unique individual that they are, only one of you exists in all time and creation. Celebrate who God made you, imperfections and all. Then seek out God’s will in your life, your confidence and inner beauty will shine!

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Vilma and the "Player"

5/10/2015

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Mon. January 7, 1952
Tonight I went shopping in L.A. and got the finest looking 3-quarter coat for myself. It looks real chic on me. It cost $22.00, and I got some nifty shoes for $6.00. Man, I wore my blue suit and really drew the whistles. I walked down Main Street just for the kicks of it and all the men turned their old roving eyes towards me. I’d better not make it a habit though, those guys might start to think I’m one of those Main St. girls looking for a nickel.

Tues. January 7, 1952
Oh brother, this diary is so boring. Did positively nothing unusual today or tonight. And I haven’t necked since Thursday night, and oh man no lie I’m getting a real awful urge to neck.

Wed. January 9, 1952
Went to Devotions tonight with Betty Jo. Then went to town by myself and who do you think gave me a ride home? Chuck Rogers & Jimmy. Guy I don’t know why I am so thrilled because Chuck brought me home twice from The Stomp Club before, and he is so popular. I don’t like him anymore though, he’s got too damn many girlfriends. Girls and more girls. He is a nice guy though. You know what? His new car is all set up, and when the girl wants to get out, Chuck first has to press a button so the car door can open! And I says “Oh my goodness if you ever do something bad to a girl, she’ll struggle and struggle and she can’t get out”. And he just laughed and laughed!

Shopping day in L.A.

The Player
What advanced technology for 1952… automatic car door locks! My how far we’ve come, this seems so comical today doesn’t it? But Vilma’s suspicion of this boy’s ulterior motives are simply timeless. After all he was clearly a player, “girls and more girls” as she would exclaim. Obviously girls were drawn to this fancy boy with his fancy ride, but not Vilma. Her first thought when seeing Chuck’s car was not “Oh what a swell ride” and to melt away in his arms like so many girls. Nope, her inner sense told her to stay away from this boy or else those newfangled door locks would be used on her! There was something more important on her mind: guarding her body from a boy who was clearly out to get something else. This can teach us women a lesson even today: stay far away from players.

1950’s fashion
The beauty of fashion in the 1950’s was that there was still modesty. Vilma is strutting around as a confident young woman wearing a blue knee length suit and drawing the whistles! There was still some mystery to a woman’s body back then, it was not necessary for every piece of flesh to be exposed like today. Who says that women and young girls must follow the current risqué fashioned trends anyway, why not go against the grain? Modesty is such an important virtue to possess, it’s something that has been lost within all of the pornographic images we see today. It's only natural to want to feel attractive and loved, but it should never come at the price of our dignity. When a woman dresses and acts modestly it compliments her feminine nature as a woman, we can see her inner beauty and it demonstrates her humility. She automatically commands respect, primarily from the opposite sex.

Pssst… I’ll tell you a secret, women did just fine back then attracting men without any problem, knee length skirts and all. Maybe all us women really need is to shop for a chic coat and some nifty shoes to spike our confidence level just enough!

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Vilma and the Fire of Desire

5/3/2015

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Thurs. January 3, 1952
I went out with Dick tonight and his ‘49 Ford Convertible to a drive-in movie and saw some crummy pictures. I don’t like him anymore. Talk about being a mad lover, well he isn’t it. When I go to a drive-in I like to neck & really go to town, but all he did was hug me and bore me stiff. I think he kissed me all in all three whole times and he is a bum necker anyway. He says he is going to come around on Saturday but he’s living in a pipe dream if he thinks I am going to go out with him again. I can’t help it if I am one lovable girl & I need lots of loving. I guess that’s why I liked Pinky so much because he was one great kisser.

Friday January 4, 1952
Went roller skating to The Moonlight tonight with Mary Alice. She fell but flat 2 times in all. I laughed my fool head off. Danced with a lot of guys & had a gay old time.

I called up Dick today and told him not to come over Saturday as I had to work. Oh man what a lie, but as I don’t like him anymore I don’t want him hanging around. Buella came over tonight also, with Frank and some other guy. Frank is a little old, they make a real cute couple I think.

Sat. Jan 5, 1952
Went to confession tonight and then stayed overnight with Betty Jo.

Sun. January 6. 1952
Spent all afternoon with Betty Jo. The more I see of her the better because she is leaving in a couple of months. Man I sure will miss her. After all, we are best friends.

Went and visited Mary Alice today.

Playing with fire

Dear Men: Since the beginning of time, all women have feminine wiles (or manipulations) built in to who they are as women. You will never escape! Oh, they can be used for good…or for bad. They are little girl games women play which exert their power and influence over you, most times you will never know what hit you. Remember Eve was the one persuaded by the devil to take the apple, yet Eve turned around and convinced her husband Adam to partake in this rebellion against God, which ultimately resulted in our fallen human nature. From this first instance in time we can clearly see the complex feminine power that God bestowed on woman.

Here Vilma was using this poor boy for her own pleasure, she then tossed him to the side when she did not get the level of affection she desired. Sometimes she grew pretty good at the art of female persuasion, other times she felt the weight of her guilt for using men for her own desires. It was always a battle against her fallen human nature and her faith. She knew all too well that she was playing with the fire of love & lust. And when you play with fire, you'll eventually get burned. Therefore a good confession was in order…. for the time being.

Where is Betty Jo going?
Back in the 1950’s unwed pregnant girls were sent off to maternity homes in their final months of pregnancy. Maternity housing in the 1950’s gave women a place where they could go to escape the stigmas associated with unwed pregnancies. This may have been a better place for Betty Jo anyway, as her own home life was a mess. After her mother passed away from a sudden illness two years earlier, her father began to turn to the bottle. In Betty Jo’s delicate condition, she really needed her mother in this moment of her life, unfortunately her father just could not fill the role of both mother and father. Once the stability of her family was broken, Betty Jo was longing to replace the love that her parents once gave her….but in all the wrong places. So she found her way into the arms of a man willing to give her some sort of relationship. Dannie, her twenty-something boyfriend was in no position to care for her, still being married himself. However he claims to love her and the baby and he is in the process of getting a divorce, so in the meantime off to the maternity home she will go.

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Vilma and The Passion Flower

Vilma and The "Ruffian" Gang

Vilma and the Dirty Dentist

Vilma and the "Player"

Vilma and the Fire of Desire

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