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Vilma, True Confessions and a 'lil Elvis

6/28/2015

Saturday Feb 9, 1952
Went to The Stomp tonight and then went to Guy Smith’s party afterwards. Pinky was there and he looked extremely nice tonight. He even talked to me, too. Huh, I guess he still likes me after that night I shrugged him off. Went home with Dick somebody. Don’t especially like him, but his kisses are real crazy, no lie.

I also went to Confession tonight and Betty Jo went with me. I’m real glad she finally came to Confession with me at last.

Sunday Feb 10, 1952
Went to Holy Communion. Man, the Mass was real packed, but I stayed to pray the Holy Rosary.

Monday Feb 11, 1952
Daddy was off today. I hadn’t given him anything for his birthday, so today I put out my hand to shake his and slipped him a $ten$ spot, and I says “Here put it in the bank for your car”. Well you should have seen the look of sheer pleasure & surprise on his face! And he puts his hand back out to me and says “Here, I’ll give you the change”. Ha, I says “Keep it Daddy, think nothing of it”. He says “Well then, thank YOU Vilma”. Well I guess it was pretty nice of me at that.

Betty Jo came over tonight.

Tuesday Feb 12, 1952
I lost some more weight and I weigh 141 now.

Betty Jo and Mary Alice came down tonight. I forgot to tell you the other day I bought the most beautiful Crucifix medal in sterling silver. The loveliest thing you ever laid your eyes on, $2.00 was the price. So I bought myself one and one for Betty Jo. She really liked it. We are both wearing ours on chains, and I just love mine and Betty Jo loves hers too.

True Confessions
The Sacraments of the Church and symbols of faith, such as a crucifix, were a natural part of Vilma’s life. When our eyes are focused on the things of this world, we lose sight of heaven. That’s why Vilma wore a reminder of her faith and often went to Confession, to refocus her life back to God and His ways. Her human nature was always in need of repair, she knew she was far from perfect. She always had that inner sense that when she did wrong she needed to humble herself before the Lord, asking forgiveness.

Confession is way to look deeply within ourselves in contemplation to truly see if our life mirrors that of our faith. Essentially, we examine the raw state of our soul. In this way we are able to root out any sins, faults, and at the same time strengthen the goodness and beauty we possess.

It is in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (or Confession) that we find the never ending mercy of God and receive his mystical Grace (our armor) for the journey of life. Since God's mercy is infinite, our sins are but a drop in the ocean compared to His Divine Mercy, which he desires to give all of us who ask. It seems inevitable that he would provide a second chance (and a third and a fourth and a hundredth if necessary) for those who might face relapse into sin.
If we fail to look at ourselves in the light of God’s truth, how can we ever make the changes to become more like Him? And that is really what it is all about, becoming more like Christ in our daily lives.

“Confession is an act of honesty and courage - an act of entrusting ourselves, beyond sin, to the mercy of a loving and forgiving God’.
~Saint Pope John Paul II

And now, wishing I can time travel back to be in this audience, a musical interlude about faith by Elvis Presley:

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Vilma and her Good Father

6/21/2015

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Vilma and "lover" Don Williams

February 2, 1952
Man did I ever have a ball tonight up at The Stomp. I met this doll Don Williams: 6 foot tall, light brown curly hair, built real good and he is double fine in my estimation. Just everybody, I mean positively everybody was there that I knew. Don says “Man you sure have a lot of friends here”. He is from Huntington Park. I saw Pinky and positively ignored him, but he didn’t like that so he started bothering me. I says “Leave me alone this is my guy”, and I hug Don. Then Pinky had the damnedest nerve, later when I was dancing with Don, to come over and lay his filthy hand on my shoulder and say “Hey there Vilma!” I says “You damn SOB quit bothering me, get your filthy paws off of me you uncouth person and I told him to shove it up your hynee!” He says “Who are you telling to do that”? I says “Wise up man I’m not telling my Grand Pop”. Then I made a big old U-turn because I thought he was going to hit me, but he didn’t say one damn thing. I went home with lover Don. I didn’t let him neck with me but he kissed me 3 times good night. Real crazy kisses. I have a date with him Friday night to go to the show. I really like him you know that?

Monday February 4, 1952
Man, was I surprised when Bob and a friend of his came over tonight. He’s some guy I met where I work, he quit though. He’s real cute. We went and got Mary Alice for his friend and then went over for a drive. We necked, he is alright but I have so special love for him. They are coming over tomorrow night they say. I got in at quarter after 12pm.

Tuesday Feb. 5, 1952
Bob and his friend Frank came down again tonight. They wanted to go out, but I couldn’t because it’s a week night and all that, and I got home late last night already. So we went over Joyce’s house and Jackie’s house for Frank to meet them. I think Bob is good looking, but I sure as hell can’t see what those girls up at work saw in him. I think he is slightly a jerk. Jackie made some coffee for him and the slop artist slurped it all up. What a vulgar noise! Oh well, everybody can’t be perfect. They say they are coming over Monday or Tuesday night again, that’s the only night Bob is off. He’s a cab driver now you know. But I’m not exactly trembling with anticipation for Monday or Tuesday.

Friday Feb 8, 1952
Well, this little girl got stood up tonight by Don Williams, the rat! Daddy says throughout my life I’ll be getting harder knocks than being stood up. I says “Oh I already know that”. I’ve got harder knocks than that, but I guess I’ll suffer much more than I have before I give up the ghost.

Fathers and Daughters
Vilma’s father Michael, who survived through the Depression Era living in New York (and who survived a road trip from New York to California with his wife and his four young kids), usually spoke bluntly and with an air of common sense. He certainly had his share of hard knocks, but that never stopped his joy for life. A man with twinkling blue eyes, a cheerful smile and rosy cheeks, he could often be seen tending to his garden which contained his prized beefsteak tomatoes. These tomatoes were so juicy and fragrant, you can eat them just like an apple picked fresh from the tree.

Now in his young 50’s, his Chestnut brown hair growing white, his worry on this night was that of his eldest daughter Vilma, and the man who stood her up. Instead of saying such calming, empathetic words such as “It’ll be OK dear” or “There’s plenty of other fish in the sea”, he tells Vilma starkly: “Throughout your life you’ll be getting harder knocks than being stood up!” Just what kind of advice is this from a father? Not one to sugar coat reality, he used reality to make an important point. It’s difficult for a 17 year old to see their lives 20 years out, so he lovingly took her down a notch from her fanciful ideas. He taught her a lesson to prepare her for life. He did not want her to go through life thinking there were only rainbows and princes on every corner.

This was a point not lost on Vilma. That old phrase “give up the ghost” refers to dying, which employs ghost in the sense of "the soul or spirit.” Essentially Vilma understands that she will “suffer much more before I die”. Like all of us in the span of life, there is indeed much sorrow, suffering and hardship.

Suffering is a great mystery, not one of us is free from it in this life. However, it is what we do with suffering that makes us stronger and better people than if we never went through these trials in the first place. Life is hard, it is at times mundane, painful, unfair and full of moments of great despair…but at the same time there is the contradiction of great joy and beauty.

Saint Pope John Paul II writes: “An inescapable burden of human existence but also a factor of possible personal growth, suffering is ‘censored,’ rejected as useless, indeed opposed as an evil, always and in every way to be avoided. When it cannot be avoided and the prospect of even some future well-being vanishes, then life appears to have lost all meaning and the temptation grows in man to claim the right to suppress it.” Suffering forces us to reflect, to enter our own solitude and in that to turn to the only One whose good transcends the evil that afflicts us. Revealing the transitory, fragile character of the goods of this body and this world, suffering is an invitation to give our bodies, ambitions, and the very sense of self to the One who has destined us to Himself".

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Vilma and the Married Man

6/14/2015

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Stay away from men like "Scratch"

Monday January 28, 1952
I felt pretty sick this morning, and anyway it’s Daddy’s birthday so I stayed home from work today. Man that is the life. I stayed in bed till about 1 o’clock and then got up, got dressed and went to town and fooled around. I saw Scratch, that manager from the El Monte Bowling Alley and he offered me a ride again. I says “Listen buster you’re married & you got 2 kids, you can just go to hell and rot there Mister”! He called me Chicken Heart, so I says “Listen man, I’m not scared of the devil and you don’t by far compare with him”, and he says “Well I am the devil and you’re scared of my lovemaking”. So I laughs and I says “You’re really very terrifying, I’m trembling with fear. I says “Shove off, scram, hit the road, clear out, and get the hell out of here”…..and he left. Daddy had a real fine birthday.

Tuesday January 29, 1952
Dannie & Sandy and some other guy came down tonight to meet Betty Jo and to take me out too. Dannie wants me to go with them Saturday night to the NCO Club and have a ball. But I says “What makes you think I want to go? I’d rather go up to The Stomp". So anyway we had a big fight tonight, me and that piss-head Dannie. Not about that though, I don’t like his funny remarks. Betty Jo loves him and can take all of his crap, but I don’t think I especially have the hot rocks for him and I’m not taking nothing from that old pissy. So I told them I’m not going out with them tonight just because of his smart remarks. So he begged me and begged me to go, but I wouldn’t budge. He went off mad and I came home.

Wednesday January 30, 1952
I got a letter from Charles yesterday. He says he still loves me & more mushy crap like that. He is in Korea now on the front lines and he told me all about it. He said when he got my Christmas card I sent him, he was so happy I remembered him that he sat down and cried. He sees all of his buddies getting killed over there and it is real sad. So I wrote him back today, jeez-o that’s the least I can do for our guys.

Betty Jo came over tonight. She cut school and went off with Dannie, the guys, Nancy and Marcia to the snow. Up to Big Pines that is, man what a fine deal.

Thursday January 31, 1952
Betty Jo came over tonight and damn it all, she said that Sandy Sweet said he liked me and thought I was a real nice girl when I went out with him that night. And he was going to ask me to the show Tuesday night when they came down. What gets me mad is that I was real pissed off that night and was very rude to Dannie, Sandy & the other guy. I think I must have hurt his feelings & I feel sort of bad that I was rude to Sandy. I wouldn’t have gone to the show with him anyway because I don’t like him, but he didn’t do anything, I was just very aggravated that night because of Dannie. Betty Jo is going to try to patch things up for me.

Honor thy vows

Married Men
Ladies: Here is the ideal way to handle a married man who is hitting on you:

“Listen buster you’re married & you got 2 kids, you can just go to hell and rot there Mister”! So I laughs…. and I says shove off, scram, hit the road, clear out, and get the hell out of here"…and he left.

Perfection! Scratch deserves to be laughed at, looked upon with disdain and ridiculed, he’s a persistent little devil for hitting on Vilma twice now (see January 16th entry). Sometimes one has to be vigilant to fight the good fight and to never let your spiritual shield down in face of the devil’s temptations. For Vilma, her moral compass and common sense told her of the severe emotional and spiritual consequences for playing around like that. To keep her life uncomplicated and in line with her beliefs, a married man was always “hands off”. Period! If you like, memorize Vilma's words and use them when the need arises. Your life will be better for it. Men: this treatment can apply to married women too!

Just for fun
I thought we’d have some fun today and re-cap some of the fabulous sayings of the 1950’s we have heard so far throughout the Diary:

Get wise to yourself = Smarten up
Went home with a guy = A guy either walked or drove you to your home
An old kissy = Someone who kisses your butt
Piss-head (or Pissy) = Jerk
Chicken heart = Coward
Pipe dream = You’re living in a fantasy world
Falsies = Fake boobs/padded inserts (non-surgical)
Laughed my fool head off = something was hysterical
Water Lily/Passion Flower = a person who is loveable and needs lots of affection
I have lots of Scotch in me = I have lots of Scotch in me

That last one gets me every time! Bet you didn’t know that alcohol and wine were commonly used as a remedy for the flu or cold back in the 1950’s….regardless, Vilma still loved a stiff drink or two.

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Vilma and the Jerk of '52

6/8/2015

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Betty Jo & Dannie

Click the picture for more on "The Hat"

Sunday January 20, 1952
Betty Jo ate over my house tonight and then Dannie came over. Man, Dannie hates my guts, but I don’t have any special love for him either. I was real wise to him and his pigheaded, jerky ways, and he couldn’t think of anything to say. So he really has it in for me.

Monday January 21, 1952
Stayed home with the family and watched television.

Tuesday January 22, 1952
Picked up a fine looking guy from La Puente tonight. Name is George Barlow, 24 years old, single, blonde, & good looking. Anyway in the dark he is. He says he’s coming over some Sat. or Sun. but I am not trembling in anticipation over it because you really can’t depend on pick-ups. Ten to one I’ll never see him again.

Wednesday January 23, 1952
Betty Jo came over for a while tonight. Am I ever dead sick, I feel like I’m beat down and trampled and I’m sick in bed right now. I wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow but I would be losing a whole $9.00 or so. I have lots of Scotch in me, which should help, so I am not missing out on work if I can possibly help it.

Sunday January 27, 1952
Man, was I ever sick tonight but I went out with Sandy Sweet, Betty Jo & Dannie. We went to The Hat and fooled around. Dannie said “Are we friends now Vilma?”, and I says “Weren’t we always?” and he starts laughing and he says he was bullheaded anyway and said he was sorry for the way he was acting. He said if he was a girl there’d sure be some hair pulling at times with me and our little disputes. I still don’t like him, but I tolerate him the best I can. I guess I get a big kick out of him.

The Jerk of '52
Dannie, Betty Jo’s semi-married boyfriend, was a real pill, a jerk, a bad boy. One of those guys who has a loudmouth with cocky attitude that would make James Dean proud. Just the type of guy Vilma despises alright. And just the type that Betty Jo loves.

One redeeming quality that Dannie had going for him, was that he did not abandon Betty Jo when she became pregnant. Back then men like Dannie were still morally held accountable, and they were expected to marry the girl. There was a good reason for this of course, it was common knowledge that the ancient institution of marriage was the best place to give this child a chance. Betty Jo and Dannie will eventually get married in these less than ideal circumstances, but based on Dannie's past and their already rocky relationship, this may not turn out like a fairy tale.

The contrast between Betty Jo is that of Vilma’s determination to save herself until marriage. She was in a much better position to choose her mate wisely since her thoughts were always future minded: “Is this man marriage material and is he worthy of me? If no, he would be tossed into the wind to blow away like a withering leaf.

"We must not forget that only when love between human beings is put to the test can its true value be seen." -Saint Pope John Paul II

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Vilma, True Confessions and a 'lil Elvis

Vilma and her Good Father

Vilma and the Married Man

Vilma and the Jerk of '52

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