Sid and two other guys came down tonight. We went to go get Mary Alice for Sid and the other guy for me and then we went over and got Lorea for the other one. We went to Carpenter’s and then we drove up to the mountains to look at the lights. Ha! Man, I got that poor guy so hot he begged me to let him make me. I really didn’t mean to get him so heated, but I had to get it out of my system because Tommy doesn’t French kiss or hold me close like I want him to.
So he was French kissing me and I got extremely close to him and hugged him terribly close and rubbed against him like mad. He was gasping for breath and he said he please wanted to touch me. He is an alright guy, he told me he liked me but I don’t care for him. But I mean I am sure getting awful! I remember when I wouldn’t even let a guy hug me, but now that is my number one thing to do is to get real close to him and maybe rub against him. I’m getting worse and worse. I’m sure glad I’m not going steady with one guy. I don’t know if I’d be strong enough. I mean I’m going a little further each time I go out with a guy. I’m going to have to watch myself from now on.
Wednesday May 28, 1952
Well I thought I got rid of jerky himself, but old faithful Jim came down tonight and asked for a date for Friday night to go to The Pike, so I gave him a break by saying yes.
Ted and Roger came down later in the night, I’m going to the beach with them tomorrow. We are the Three Musketeers. We really ought to stick together, they were laid off of work and we all have time on our hands. Since they have a car and a cycle we might as well spend it together.
Thursday May 29, 1952
Went to Long Beach today with Ted and Roger. I’m not kidding you, I’m positively black like an African Ubangee.
Tonight stayed over with Mary Alice and had a gay time.
Friday May 30, 1952
Went to The Los Angeles Theater with Floyd and Jim and saw “Pardon my Sarong” and “The Great Sinner”. Virginia is sick, so we three went on. The Great Sinner was extremely good as it was about gambling and suicides and all that.
I felt so sorry for Jim when I wouldn’t let him kiss me goodnight. I am so mean to him though, I treat him like dirt under my fingers. I hate to hurt guys like that, but he should have given up a long time ago.
Me and Mary Alice went up to The Stomp tonight and we got in about quarter after 3am. We came home together in a lush 1951 cruiser, the guys were both good looking but mine was a positive jerk. In the first place, he irritated me beyond my limit by pawing me from the minute I stepped into the car. I took it so far and then I didn’t want to go farther. And then I got real, real mad and was real rude to him. I wouldn’t go out with him again if he even changed his ways because he wouldn’t even let up. He is only 19, you’ve got to expect this from inexperienced punks.
Paul Engel was there tonight and I danced one dance with him. I still wish I could neck with him again, because for the biggest reason I like him a lot. Oh well.
That damn guy I went home with gave me a couple of hickeys and you can see them plain as day on my neck.
Sunday June 1, 1952
Went out with Don somebody tonight. Lorea came down and got me for him and then we got this other couple and we all went to a drive-in. We saw “When in Rome” and some other pictures. He wasn’t very cute so I didn’t let him kiss me at the drive-in, but I gave him a break and bent down and kissed him good night.
Oh brother, I didn’t know how short he was till he got out of the car, so I laughed and said “How’s the weather down there man?”. He’s a good guy, but who likes short guys? Sure as hell not me.
What an amazing week. Vilma started out not just on a double date, but a triple date! She went to Carpenter’s for some vittles (food), hit the beach, The Pike, saw some movies at the local drive-in and the historic Los Angeles Theater, (just can’t get enough of those movie posters) and she finished it all off with some Country Western Swing at The Stomp. Whew.
I just have to admit though, these diary entries are some of the most difficult ones to publish so far. I’ll explain a little further…
Have you ever stumbled across a close family member’s diary? Perhaps your older sister’s, or even your daughter’s diary? In the hushed silence of that moment, when you’re holding that book of secrets in your hands, time seeming to have stopped, you’re left standing there faced with a terrible decision: Do you dare slip away to read it? Why of course you do! Well, most of us would at least!
The appeal of finding some juicy tidbits are just too strong to hold back the urge. After all, a young girl’s diary wouldn’t be a real diary unless it had some pretty racy passages would it?
I guess I’m in a unique situation, I’m now an adult reading my mother’s long forgotten teenage diaries. Now that she’s in heaven, the decision was an easy one to crack them open and read them. So as I’m reading, what do my big saucer eyes stumble across? Those fateful and intimate moments of indecency!
When I say it wasn’t easy to publish these entries, it’s obvious because this is my own mother we’re talking about here, I’m naturally inclined not to put her in a bad light. We’ve already seen Vilma in some compromising situations while dating, however, these passages are a bit different. You see, we are witnessing her testing the limits, going a little further than what we’ve seen before. Her faith provided a moral compass, so she recognized that what she was doing is sinful. Although remorseful, she does it anyway and even enjoys it. It’s quite telling that Vilma even calls her own self out! Among all of the fun and fabulous nostalgia of living and playing in Southern California in the 1950’s, this is her backstory. How does this wildly popular young girl balance both her dating life and her faith?
Now, I realize that by today’s X-rated pornographic culture, these entries are probably PG-rated at best, but I still struggled. Do I use the magic of editing to soften up the more graphic passages? But that wouldn’t really be true to her story would it? If I do publish them is that contradicting my own Catholic faith? So I turned to my pastor for guidance. Mind you, he is very traditional and has deep theological insights. So when he turned to me and said “put it all out there” I was quite shocked! He said “Look, you shouldn’t whitewash what it’s really like to struggle with one’s faith, morals and purity. Her story is REAL and that’s what people are drawn to, it’s her authenticity that is appealing.”
So after much prayer and pondering, the good priest's advice kept ringing true in my thoughts. Knowing there are more of these passages peppered throughout the diaries, the decision was made to “put it all out there”. RAW. No editing. It just feels like the right thing to do.